The greatest and most important adventure of our lives is getting the chance to find ourselves. This may sound like an inherently self-centered goal, but it is a very selfless process that is the foundation of our whole lives. I often find myself reading the quote, “finding yourself consists of peeling off years of social conditions to find a self as it existed during childhood, unmasked.” Finding yourself involves a method of shedding the layers we have that no longer serve us in our lives anymore. We need to peel off the coats that don’t reflect who we truly are. Finding ourselves also substantially consists of building ourselves back up. It is vital that we recognize who you dream yourself of being and intensely chasing after the unique fate set for our lives. It’s important that we stay open and vulnerable to our experiences yet we be able to recognize our personal power. Seeking yourself should not be something you fear or avoid completely, but something you explore with an open-mind and intense curiosity. In order to be the most beneficial human to the world around you, first you must know who you are, what you value and what you are able to give back to this world.
In the following guide, I have listed five useful steps to aid you in this individual journey!
#Seek meaning:
The most important aspect to life is to seek meaning. We must find our own sense of purpose which is completely personal. This means disregarding any expectation that others have of us and following our hearts. We must identify our values and what we truly care about and then following those principles. Numerous studies indicate that those who seek meaning in their lives, rather than just pleasure, are overall happier people. Finding true happiness is inevitably linked to finding meaning for yourself.
Come to terms with your #past:
In order to discover who we are and why we act the way we do, we must truly understand our story. Uncovering our past experiences can be a scary thing but it is vital to explore them and use them as stepping stones on this journey. It isn’t just the experiences we’ve had that define us, rather how much we’ve made sense of them. Any unresolved conflicts or traumas that we have not identified with play a part in how we act today. Studies have even shown that life story coherence has a “statistically significant relationship to psychological well-being.” Don’t be afraid to explore your past and finally come to terms with it. You will be able to make better, mindful and conscious decisions in the present moment.
Think about what you truly #want:
Knowing what we truly want is vital in finding ourselves. Many of us tend to focus on the negative and the complaints about our circumstances. We think a lot about what we don’t want in our lives rather than focusing on the positive goals or solutions. Recognizing our desires aids in this journey and allows us to realize our values and who we truly are. Most of us go through life staying guarded of our feelings and emotions. Nobody wants to get hurt or feel vulnerable in this world. To live means to lose. Going after what we want can make us feel uncomfortable or obtain amounts of anxiety because it represents a break from our past. Changing our view will allow us to become more in tune with who we are. We must strip ourselves down to more basic terms and think about our basic desires without the unnecessary layers of defense that cloud us from our core values and truest selves.
#Silence the critic within:
Dr. Firestone advises that we stop listening to our “critical inner voice.” A destructive thought process has the power and potential to destroy us completely. That judgmental attitude can consist of discouraging words that tell us we aren’t good enough to succeed or don’t deserve it. By recognizing this damaging trait, we can stand up to this internal enemy and find our real strengths and abilities. An expert in mindfulness, Dr. Donna Rockwell points out, to live in a “state of upliftedness that makes everything possible—that creates the “go for it!” spirit we crave—is to subdue the doubting mind by disarming negative thoughts.”
Recognize the value of #friendships:
We all know that we do not choose the family that we are born into. Most people assume that this family defines who we truly are. As we grow older though, we are able to create a family of choice. We can search for people who uplift us and make us happy. We choose those who support what fires us up and who inspire us to stay passionate in our lives. Having a true support system that believes in us and push us to follow our dreams is vital in finding who we really are. When we choose to be surrounded by a supportive group of people it has a profound effect on how we relate in the world.